If someone is in an immediate life-threatening situation, call 911 now. In the United States, you can also call or text 988 or use 988 Lifeline chat for crisis support. You do not have to be the person in crisis: the SAMHSA 988 frequently asked questions say family members, friends, caregivers, and advocates can contact 988 because they are worried about someone else.
If you are outside the United States, use your country's official crisis line or emergency service. Do not assume that 988 or 911 reaches help where you are.
Concern about someone can bring fear, urgency, doubt, and a powerful wish to say exactly the right thing. There is no sentence that can diagnose the situation or guarantee an outcome. There are, however, clear steps: ask directly, listen without judgment, bring in human crisis support, protect immediate safety without endangering yourself, and make sure responsibility does not stay with one frightened person.
This guide is for adults supporting another adult. It does not assess suicide risk, provide a clinical safety plan, replace a crisis counselor or clinician, or tell you what emergency response is appropriate in every circumstance. When the situation is live, use human help rather than trying to manage it from an article.
Begin With Human Contact, Not A Private Investigation
You may have noticed a direct statement, a goodbye that feels different, a sudden withdrawal, a message about having no reason to live, or another change that worries you. You may also have only a hard-to-name sense that something is wrong.
Do not spend hours gathering proof before you speak. You are not building a case, and you are not expected to determine whether the person meets a diagnostic threshold. A useful opening names care and asks for contact:
I care about you, and I have been worried since our conversation yesterday. Can we talk now?
If you are with the person, reduce ordinary distractions if you can do so safely. If you are apart, ask where they are and whether they can stay connected while you talk. Do not make your support conditional on them explaining everything perfectly.
Contact 988 yourself when you are unsure how to begin, when the person will not engage and concern remains, or when you need help deciding how to connect local crisis resources. The current SAMHSA 988 fact sheet, updated February 5, 2026, confirms that a concerned third party can reach a crisis counselor for support and resources.
Warning Signs Are Reasons To Ask, Not A Diagnosis Or Prediction
The NIMH suicide FAQ describes warning signs that deserve prompt attention, particularly when behavior is new or has changed. These include talking about wanting to die, feeling hopeless or trapped, feeling like a burden, withdrawing, giving away important possessions, saying goodbye, taking dangerous risks, large mood changes, making a plan, and using alcohol or drugs more often.
A list cannot tell you what one person will do. It is not a home screening tool, a score, or a substitute for assessment by qualified professionals. One behavior can have many meanings. A calm appearance does not prove safety, and visible distress does not by itself establish suicidal intent.
Use the signs to support a conversation, not to label the person:
- Observation: “You said you do not see a reason to keep going.”
- Change: “You have stopped answering the people you usually talk with.”
- Concern: “That change worries me.”
- Question: “Are you thinking about suicide?”
Avoid announcing that you have analyzed them, telling them which condition they have, or arguing that their life looks too good for them to feel this way. Your job is not to predict. Your job is to notice, ask, and connect help.
Ask Directly About Suicide
When concern includes suicide, use the word suicide. A vague question such as “You are not going to do anything silly, right?” can communicate the answer you hope to hear and make honesty harder.
The NIMH five action steps, revised in 2024, recommend asking directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” NIMH notes that research does not show that this question causes or increases suicidal thoughts or behavior.
Ask in a steady voice and give the person time to answer. Do not stack five questions together. Do not soften the question into a joke. If a translation or communication aid is needed, use clear language that preserves the direct meaning.
You can add one sentence about why you are asking:
I am asking because I care about your safety, not because I am judging you.
You do not need professional vocabulary. A direct, humane question is more useful than a polished speech that never names the concern.
Listen Without Debating The Person's Pain
If the person begins to talk, let listening be the next action. NIMH's action steps emphasize being present and listening without judgment. The 988 Lifeline guidance for helping someone else similarly advises being direct, allowing feelings to be expressed, and avoiding lectures or debates.
Listening does not mean agreeing that there is no way forward. It means making room for accurate information and human contact. Try short responses:
- “I am glad you told me.”
- “I hear how trapped this has felt.”
- “I want to stay with this conversation.”
- “Let us bring in someone trained to help with the next step.”
Avoid arguing about whether the person should feel grateful, comparing their pain with someone else's, demanding a promise that everything will be fine, or presenting a rapid list of reasons to live. Do not challenge, shame, dare, or test them. Shock can also close the conversation; take a breath before reacting.
You can care deeply without pretending to understand every part of their experience. “I do not know exactly what this is like for you, but I am here and I want to get help with you” is honest and connected.
Let The Answer Change The Next Step
If the person says yes, take the answer seriously and bring in human crisis support now. Ask whether they have a plan, as the NIMH action steps recommend, but do not request graphic or procedural detail. Call or text 988 together when possible, or contact 988 yourself for guidance. If there is an immediate threat to life, call 911.
If the person says no, do not cross-examine them or declare the concern solved. You can name what you observed, ask what kind of support would help tonight, and invite contact with a clinician, trusted person, or 988 if distress is high. A “no” is information, not a professional clearance.
If the answer is unclear, changes, or never comes, stay with the concern rather than forcing certainty. Say what you can do next: “I cannot determine this on my own, so I am going to call 988 while we stay connected.”
The purpose is not to catch someone in an inconsistency. Fear, shame, exhaustion, privacy concerns, or difficulty finding words may shape the conversation. Keep your questions plain, share material information with the human helper you contact, and let trained responders guide the next step.
Do Not Promise Secrecy
Someone may say, “I will tell you only if you promise not to tell anyone.” Do not make that promise. The NIMH FAQ says not to keep suicidal thoughts secret and to involve a trusted person. The 988 guidance also advises seeking support rather than being sworn to secrecy.
You can be transparent without sounding punitive:
I will respect your privacy as much as I can, but I cannot keep a safety concern only between us. I want us to choose the next person together if possible.
Share what is needed with a crisis counselor, emergency responder, clinician, or trusted adult who can help; do not broadcast the situation to people who have no role. Privacy and secrecy are different. Privacy limits unnecessary exposure. Secrecy can leave one unsupported person carrying a life-threatening concern alone.
If the person becomes angry that you involved help, you can acknowledge the anger without withdrawing the safety boundary. Do not bargain away human support to restore short-term calm.
Use The Do-Not-Leave-Alone Boundary For Explicit Stated Intent
The NIMH FAQ gives a specific boundary: if someone says they are going to kill themselves, do not leave them alone. Contact human help immediately. If you are physically present, remain nearby only if it is safe for you to do so. If you are connected remotely, keep the call or message connection open while contacting 988 or emergency services.
“Do not leave alone” does not require you to use force, block an exit, drive dangerously, enter an unsafe place, or confront a person who is threatening you or anyone else. Your safety matters too. Move to safety and call 911 when there is an immediate threat to life or physical safety.
Do not make yourself the only person watching through the night. The boundary is a bridge to crisis professionals and another responsible human, not an indefinite private vigil. Tell the responder what the person said, what you directly observed, where each of you is if known, and what has already been done. Do not embellish or minimize.
Keep Lethal-Means Safety High-Level And Do Not Confront
NIMH includes helping keep the person safe among its five action steps. It advises asking whether there is a plan and making highly lethal items or places less available. That principle matters, but an article cannot tell you how to control a particular environment safely.
Do not search for or discuss method instructions. Do not ask for a demonstration. Do not handle an unknown item, attempt a physical seizure, or put yourself between the person and a dangerous place. Do not improvise a confrontation based on online advice.
Tell the 988 counselor or emergency responder what you know and ask for situation-specific guidance. If another trusted adult can safely support the environment under professional direction, name that person. If you are not present, do not instruct someone at a distance to perform a risky intervention.
The goal is time and distance from danger while trained help joins the response. It is not proof that every risk has been removed, and it is not a task one friend must complete alone.
Make A Named Human Handoff
“Please get help” leaves too much work inside a crisis. A handoff is more concrete. It identifies the next human, the route, and the near-term connection.
Write or say five lines:
- Current contact: Who is with or connected to the person now?
- Next human: Which crisis counselor, clinician, family member, friend, or responder is joining?
- Route: Is the connection happening by 988 call or text, an official chat, a clinician's urgent line, or emergency services?
- Immediate period: Who remains connected until that handoff actually occurs?
- Follow-up: Who will check in afterward, and when?
For example: “I am staying on the phone. Maya is calling 988 now. Jordan is driving over only if the counselor says that is appropriate and safe. Maya will text me when the counselor is connected. I will check in tomorrow afternoon after professional help has taken over.”
A handoff is not complete because a number was sent in a message. Confirm that a real person has connected or that responders have assumed the next step. If the first person does not answer, move to the next human route rather than returning responsibility to the distressed person.
Ask the person what would make the connection more tolerable—speakerphone or privacy, a familiar person nearby, a text rather than a call—without making access to help depend on a perfect preference match.
Follow Up Without Becoming A Surveillance System
NIMH identifies follow-up as one of its five action steps and notes that supportive ongoing contact can matter after a crisis or discharge from care. A follow-up can be simple:
I am thinking of you. Would you like a short call at six, or would a message tomorrow morning be easier?
Follow-up is contact, not an amateur assessment program. Do not demand continuous location sharing, inspect private accounts, or require the person to prove wellness through cheerful messages. Do not promise that you will always be available.
Agree on a realistic next contact and keep it. If a new statement or change again raises immediate concern, return to direct questions and human crisis support. Do not assume that yesterday's conversation settles today's safety, and do not treat every quiet interval as proof of danger.
Support From A Distance Still Needs A Local Route
You may learn about the concern through a call, private message, or online post from another city or country. Stay connected if you can, ask where the person is, and contact 988 for U.S. guidance. If there is an immediate life-threatening situation, contact emergency services with the location information you actually have.
Do not pretend you know a precise location when you do not. Do not circulate screenshots publicly in hopes that strangers will investigate. If the concern appears on a social platform, NIMH notes that platforms may have safety processes; use the platform's official process while also contacting human crisis help when the situation appears urgent.
For someone outside the United States, identify the official crisis or emergency route for the person's actual country or region. Avoid assuming that an English-language number, U.S. service, or online directory works everywhere. A local trusted adult or health service may be essential when you cannot be physically present.
Let Supporter Care Begin After The Handoff, Not Instead Of It
Supporting someone through a suicide concern can leave your body alert long after the immediate conversation. You may replay every word, feel guilty about involving others, or fear that resting means you stopped caring. The 988 help-someone-else guidance explicitly reminds supporters to care for themselves and seek support when the experience brings up difficult emotions.
First complete the human handoff. Then make your own small plan:
- Tell one trusted person that you handled a difficult safety concern, without sharing unnecessary private detail.
- Write down the next agreed contact so you do not have to monitor continuously.
- Eat, hydrate, sleep, take prescribed medicine as directed, and return to ordinary obligations as capacity allows.
- Contact your own clinician or 988 if the event triggers severe distress or a crisis for you.
You are responsible for taking concern seriously and using the available human routes. You are not responsible for predicting another person's every action, providing treatment, or remaining permanently on call. Sharing responsibility is part of safe support, not abandonment.
Keep AI Outside Crisis Assessment And Sensitive Details
Do not ask an AI system to decide whether a message is “really suicidal,” score risk, interpret a plan, choose between 988 and 911, monitor a person, or replace a crisis counselor. An AI response cannot see the environment, verify identity or location, notice what is missing, take responsibility for a handoff, or guarantee that help arrives.
Do not paste private messages, names, phone numbers, usernames, addresses, locations, health records, medication lists, photographs, recordings, clinician notes, crisis plans, or descriptions of lethal means into a general AI tool. Do not use AI to generate pressure tactics, a promise of secrecy, or an argument meant to talk the person out of suicide.
Before any live concern exists, an AI tool could help format a blank, fictional contact sheet with spaces for 988, local emergency services, a clinician, and trusted people. Verify every number through an official source. Once concern is active, stop drafting and contact humans.
TherapyWithAI is not a crisis line, emergency service, monitoring system, or substitute for professional assessment. A supportive conversation with any AI must not sit between a person and immediate human help.
A Fictional Adult Example
Elena receives a late-night message from her friend Marcus: “Everyone would be better off without me. I am done making things harder.” She feels a rush of fear and starts typing a long reply about all the people who love him. She stops and calls him instead.
Elena says, “I care about you. What you wrote worries me. Are you thinking about suicide?” Marcus is quiet, then says yes. Elena thanks him for telling her. She listens instead of debating whether he is a burden.
Elena asks whether he has a plan. He says he does, but she does not ask for graphic details. She says, “I am staying on the phone, and I am calling 988 so we do not have to decide the next step alone.” Marcus asks her not to tell anyone. Elena replies, “I will keep this as private as I safely can, but I cannot keep it only between us.”
Elena uses another phone to contact 988. She tells the counselor the exact statements Marcus made, that they are in different neighborhoods, and the location Marcus gave her. She does not claim to know anything she has not confirmed. The counselor helps guide the next response.
Elena does not drive across town at high speed or ask Marcus to show her anything. She contacts Marcus's brother Daniel, whom Marcus trusts, after explaining that another human needs to join. Daniel confirms directly that he is following the crisis counselor's guidance. Elena remains connected until that handoff is real rather than merely planned.
The next day, Elena sends a short message at the time they agreed. She does not demand a photo, continuous location, or a cheerful answer. She also talks with her own therapist about the fear the event brought up.
This example does not prove that the same sequence fits every crisis. It shows the structure: direct question, nonjudgmental listening, no secrecy promise, professional guidance, safe human handoff, bounded follow-up, and care for the supporter.
A Compact Checklist
- Is there an immediate threat to life? Call 911.
- In the United States, call or text 988 or use 988 chat; you can contact 988 about someone else.
- Name the observation without diagnosing or scoring risk.
- Ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?”
- Listen without debating, shaming, daring, or offering glib reassurance.
- If the person says they are going to kill themselves, do not leave them alone; bring in human crisis help immediately, while protecting your own safety.
- Do not promise secrecy.
- Keep lethal-means safety high-level and follow professional guidance; do not confront or use force.
- Confirm a named human handoff rather than sending a number and disappearing.
- Follow up at an agreed time without surveillance.
- Keep AI out of assessment, triage, monitoring, and sensitive information.
- Outside the United States, use official local crisis and emergency services.
Source Notes
This guide uses five current U.S. public resources reviewed August 21, 2026: the NIMH five action steps, the NIMH suicide FAQ, SAMHSA's 988 fact sheet and FAQs, and the 988 Lifeline help-someone-else page. NIMH provides the direct-question, listen, help-keep-safe, connect, follow-up, no-secrecy, and do-not-leave-alone guidance. SAMHSA and the 988 Lifeline confirm that concerned third parties can contact 988 and describe the role of trained crisis counselors.
These sources provide a public framework, not a personalized assessment. Availability and local response options can change. Use the official 988 and emergency-service channels for current guidance, and use official local services outside the United States.
The Practical Takeaway
You do not need certainty before asking about suicide. You also do not need to become a clinician, investigator, or permanent monitor.
Name what concerned you. Ask directly. Listen. Refuse a secrecy promise. Connect 988 or emergency help when needed. Protect safety without putting yourself in danger. Stay until a named human handoff is real, then follow up within limits you can keep.
Care becomes safer when it moves toward more human support, not when one person tries to carry the whole crisis alone.